[SATIRE] Cha Jae-mol, Ancillary Revenue Manager.

8 replies

watson374

Qantas - Qantas Frequent Flyer

Member since 17 Aug 2012

Total posts 1,285

[SATIRE] Cha Jae-mol, Ancillary Revenue Manager.

I am back by popular demand, but I may fizzle out soon.

BRYAN: Thanks for your time tonight.

JAE: It’s good to be with you, and good evening.

BRYAN: Now, your name is Jae…?

JAE: Jae-mol, that’s my name, yeah.

BRYAN: Is that a Korean name?

JAE: Yes, my father was Korean.

BRYAN: What’s your family name?

JAE: Cha.

BRYAN: So your full name is Cha Jae-mol?

JAE: That’s correct, but everyone just calls me Jae.

BRYAN: And you work at Jetstar, don’t you?

JAE: Yes, Bryan, I’m a Manager in Ancillary Revenue.

BRYAN: Oh, what do you do in Ancillary Revenue?

JAE: Well, we look at whatever add-ons customers seem to want and we figure out how much they should pay for them.

BRYAN: So the commonly-held belief that your department simply looks for things to put a price tag on, that’s just ludicrous?

JAE: Oh, absolutely ludicrous! Silliest thing I’ve heard in my life.

BRYAN: Alright, tonight your special subject is Airport Management.

JAE: Yes, that is indeed my special subject for tonight.

BRYAN: Your first question is, what is the optimum number of staff assigned to check-in?

JAE: The absolute minimum.

BRYAN: Correct. Where should they be deployed?

JAE: All in one bunch so they can chit-chat.

BRYAN: Correct. How many security personnel should be deployed to the screening lanes?

JAE: You want to keep expenses down, so you again use the minimum.

BRYAN: Correct. Is the trace detection random or is it not?

JAE: Yes.

BRYAN: Yes it is or yes it isn’t?

JAE: No.

BRYAN: Correct. Why do airports insist on making passengers walk through a duty free mall when arriving and departing?

JAE: No, they don’t make them walk through them! The popular idea is that passengers are forced through them but that’s entirely not the case. They are not being forced by airport authorities to do this.

BRYAN: So why do all the passengers have to walk through them?

JAE: Well, there’s no other route.

BRYAN: So the passengers are being forced to walk through the duty free mall.

JAE: Not by design.

BRYAN: What do you mean, “not by design”?

JAE: Airports don’t design for passengers to be walk through these malls! This is merely a consequence of the architecture of the airports!

BRYAN: So the passengers are being forced to walk through the duty free mall.

JAE: It’s an unfortunate thing we can’t work around, but I must stress that this is in now way deliberately set up to be the case.

BRYAN: Alright, I’ll give you that one. Why is the Sydney AirportLink so expensive?

JAE: It’s a Public Private Partnership.

BRYAN: How does that work?

JAE: No idea.

BRYAN: Correct. Will the fares come down now that NSW Government has a share?

JAE: They might come down but not necessarily in that direction, yes.

BRYAN: Correct. Now, one last question before we wrap up. Can airports be more profitable?

JAE: Oh, absolutely. You just need to find more things to charge for.

BRYAN: Correct. Well done, Jae, full marks! You’ve won yourself a lifetime of Express Path in Sydney!

JAE: Oh, fantastic! I’ll never fly through another Australian port every again! By the way, is that for departures?

BRYAN: No, it’s for arrivals. Why do you ask?

180mis

Qantas - Qantas Frequent Flyer

Member since 20 Mar 2012

Total posts 85

Very funny. I like your sense of humour

johnaboxall

Virgin Australia - Velocity Rewards

Member since 24 Aug 2011

Total posts 384

Thanks :)

S

Member since 13 Sep 2013

Total posts 114

Not these again... 

moa999

Qantas - Qantas Frequent Flyer

Member since 02 Jul 2011

Total posts 835

I assume ripped off another website given the 'Korean' bit at the start.

FYI airlines don't control security and certainly not the duty free layout, AirportLink is fully owned by Westpac

hutch

Member since 07 Oct 2012

Total posts 761

@Moa999 my understanding is that in situations where the airline manages the terminal they are responsible for the checkout security.

watson374

Qantas - Qantas Frequent Flyer

Member since 17 Aug 2012

Total posts 1,285

I came up with the name myself, and while Jae is a Jetstar employee he is being quizzed on airport management not his job.

S

Member since 13 Sep 2013

Total posts 114

Why was he being quizzed on Airport Management and getting a prize? It's just really odd

watson374

Qantas - Qantas Frequent Flyer

Member since 17 Aug 2012

Total posts 1,285

It's supposed to be bizarre and surreal? Also, if you'd read the article on arrival Express Path, those are now useless.

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